Pointing to the loan document in front of the student:

Me:

THIS is the first 60 per cent of your loan, and THIS is the amount we're taking from it to send to the Registrar's Office to pay down your tuition owing. The remainder of your loan is available here exactly halfway through your study period.

Student:

Wait! I'm supposed to get more money than this! I can't live on this for the whole year! Do you expect me to eat my shoes or something? You people are always screwing me over! Every year it's the same thing! I'm going to call my Member of Parliament!

Me: ...

Student:

Oh.